Advice and Crazy Moms

A friend posted this article on the book today and I found it so interesting. 
Among discussing the ridiculous rivalry that exists in within the realm of Motherhood today it also had her advice for new moms. Honestly, I wish I had read this before EJ was born it may not have made a difference but it really is some of the best advice. There is nothing as wonderful or crazy as motherhood, nothing. But, with all things there is a learning curve. The person you become when you are under extreme sleep depravation is unrecognizable. The emotions are all over the place and not taking time for yourself will result in one insane momma, trust me I know. I learned the hard way. Take a moment and read it. It’s a good read for sure. 
What are the most important pieces of advice that you can offer to new moms?
JZ: Here are some healthful tid bits for women to savor as they embark on motherhood. Trust yourself. Rely on others.  Ask for help. Seek support. Connect with loved ones. Take time for yourself. Expect to feel amazing, awful, and everything in between. Throw perfection out the window!
Be present. Get professional guidance if you feel you want/need it.  Read books about parenting if you find them helpful but ultimately be sure to integrate their wisdom with your own mothering methods. Respect your body and the postpartum journey. Curb unrealistic expectations. Be the role model you always dreamed of having.  Be wholeheartedly honest with yourself. Experience whatever it is you are experiencing. Denying feelings does not make them go away.  Feelings are feelings not facts. Change is possible. Communication is key. Depression and anxiety do not go away on their own.
Rest when you can.  Honor your emotional temperature.  Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about being you.  It’s never too late to revisit your childhood experiences – doing so will benefit and enliven the family you’ve created. Don’t take little people’s behaviors personally.  Newborns/infants do not manipulate.  Treat yourself like a queen when you can (whatever that means to you).  As soon as you feel you finally “figured it out”, “it” will change.  Be flexible.  LAUGH. Address burning feelings. Whatever you are feeling, other mothers have felt.  You are not alone.  No feeling is off limits. (New) motherhood is ubiquitously overwhelming.  Sleep deprivation can make you meet a version of yourself you never wanted to know. There is not one way to give birth, feed, sleep, or raise your child. Do what feels resonant for you and your baby, not what is trendy.  Plan and then roll with what arises. Play and enjoy the ever-changing ride!
Jessica Zucker is a psychologist in Los Angeles specializing in women’s health with a focus on transitions in motherhood, perinatal and postpartum mood disorders, and early parent-child attachment.

The boys

Watching the bond form between the two boys may be my favorite aspect of having another child. Jack loves to watch EJ and much like his brother he is in a big ol hurry to grow up. At 11 weeks old he tries to sit up and quite frankly is better at exercising his core than I am. He wants to roll over so bad and boy does he get mad when he gets stuck on his side. EJ is dying for him to play with him and requests that Jack “sit” with him about a million times a day.

 I have a feeling I am going to get lots of this look from both them in the coming years. 

 Inside joke 
Jack siting in his chair at the toddler table. EJ can’t wait for them to eat lunch together.   
EJ loves to kiss his brother. I am going to remind him of this when they get in to fights in the coming years. 

Life as we know it.

I have spent the last 11 and 1/2 weeks figuring out what our new normal is.
It’s funny with the first baby the whole world stops while you run in circles like a chicken with its head cut off trying to figure this whole parent thing out. I will never forget the panic that in sued the first night EJ woke up at 3am screaming and yes that was at 3 days old. He kindly waited until after we left the hospital to start the night wake-ups. Craig and I both jumped up and nearly ran smack into each other. EJ was a screamer so within seconds my mom was knocking at the door asking if we needed help. It’s comical to think about it now.
Everything was a mess then, some had nothing to do with the new baby just life stuff and other messes were all baby related. It took awhile to get our groove, our confidence and it took me a while to fall in love with this awesome gift of motherhood.
This time, well, he just fit right in. It was like we had been waiting on him. Everything has been easier and better. Sometimes the mom guilt sets in as I realize that I am enjoying Jack’s early days in way that I did not with EJ. But, I think that is normal. Everyone should have their second baby first, its so much better the second time around.
I love having both my boys and its funny how not stressed I am when they both melt down or things just aren’t going my way. I just keep plugging away. If Jack has to cry for a minute while I deal with EJ or vice versa it is ok. And quite frankly it’s life. Sometimes we have to wait a minute whether we want to or not.
Jack is an incredible baby, he sleeps, eats and smiles. He loves to cuddle in the morning as he eats and quite frankly I enjoy it most mornings even if its still dark outside.
EJ is at such a fun and hard stage. It’s so fun getting to see his personality and getting to talk to him but he is one strong willed little boy. He wants things his way and will often choose punishment over stopping. It is a daily process in patience on my part and trying to figure out what is going through his head. I just repeat to myself my grandmother’s wise words “children are born heathens and its our job to teach them how to be responsible little people”. As his Momma it is my job to help mold him into the man he is meant to be and that is a great honor and big job but one I am happy to have.
Kids change you completely. Today, I think twice about everything from my behavior to the food I put in my mouth. I have 4 little eyes watching my every move and I better teach them well. Because really they learn a lot by our actions not our just words.

Where have we been AKA iPhone Photo Dump

A hurt foot, a nursing baby and an energetic toddler can keep you pretty busy. Throw in home renovations and a few trips into the mix and you have one crazy hectic few weeks.

It’s full on baby leg season and I love it!

Such a smiley child!

It’s a BABY party. Jack and I made a short trip up to Knoxville to meet two of my very best friends little additions. It was such a fun night. I hope these boys grow up to be buds.

While in Knoxville, we all went out to dinner. This was our view in the elevator.

EJ got to spend a week at the farm with my parents while Jack and I got a some good one on one time. It was so nice to spend some time giving him all the attention 🙂

Someone got a cold thanks to many kisses from his big bro so we spent a few afternoons like this. All propped up and snug.

Look at how long this child is! I am guessing he is going to give his uncles a run for their money in the height department.

Big bro is teaching little bro all about butterflies!

Renovations in progress!

THIS is a sign near my parents. Seriously only in Tennessee.

Boys ready for some quality time at the pumpkin patch!

Because I am crazy apparently, I also decided to ditch the pull-ups.

Such a good little road tripper!

6 hours later windows rolled down and shirt is off!

Pretty sure this kid most favorite place on earth is at his grandparents farm.