Life has been busy lately. We seem to go from one place to another. Spending our days with one project after another to complete. And as each day passes by a little too quickly, I seem to feel more of a loss and less completion.
I am one more day away from babyhood turning toddlerhood. One day, the sight of me will not bring a huge grin and great big bear hug. One day, I will be boring old mom who doesn’t get it. I will be uncool and will need to walk three steps behind him. My heart breaks a little for those days to come. I was reminded this week that these are the best days of my life. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with life, bills, toddlerhood that I swear it can’t be true. But, if you take step back and look at the generations that have walk this road before the majority have nothing but fondness for these days. Yes, they have more money, more stability, and more things but there is always a special place in their heart for the memory of life as young family. Its bittersweet but I try to soak it in and remember that there will be a day I will miss this moment. Even yearn for it.
This week, I have tried to live in the day. Ignore the mess that is our bathroom. Ignore the disaster that is our laundry room. I have stayed home everyday and done a lot of nothing. I rediscovered my love for creativity, designing some labels and thought ahead to our holiday card. I took a nap because I was totally worn out from playing outside all morning with my kid. We have had a family walk at the park the last three nights and they have been amazing. Craig enjoys the quiet and peace of the outdoors. I enjoy the togetherness of our family with no other distractions. I squashed my mild panic attack as it occurred to me that there is no way EJ will make his bedtime if we take a walk every night. Instead, I centered my focus on what really was important… that we were being active as a family, that we were together and that we ate healthy every night even it meant staying up an extra 30 minutes so I could cook. I overcame the urge every night to freak out that my precious schedule was being tampered with and just enjoyed us.
I snuggled with my husband instead of popping out of bed. I have just enjoyed my life this week. We have laughed, we have made messes; we have just hung out. I am vowing to be better about staying still, being home and keeping my cleaning freak-outs minimal. Because I am so blessed.
This week I am thankful that I get to be a wife to a wonderful man, that I was blessed to be a Mom and that through thick and thin “our” little family is really all that matters.