A letter to myself as a new mom

Dear 10 months pregnant LA, 
Yes, everyone will tell you that the babe is easier in the oven rather than out. Don’t worry about biting your tongue, they are wrong. Between the high blood pressure and the numb leg your body is revolting against the pregnancy and you will feel better with him out. Keep walking all the time, you will be so thankful.

Dear Day 1 Momma, 
Ask if you can have pain medication! Your nurse just forgot to tell you about the drugs and the IBProfin will not cut the pain. There is no reason for you to feel like you have been run over by a truck.
Please go to the bathroom, do not be afraid. Holding it for 12 hours will give you a worse set of issues. And ask about that water bottle, no it is not for after you go to the bathroom but during and I promise it will make your life much better when you figure out its true purpose.

Dear Month 1 Momma, 
Just breathe, things aren’t good today and won’t be for awhile just hug your baby and be thankful that he is perfect. Don’t miss those precious moments with him when it just the two of you.  Keep standing up for yourself, he is your baby and the sooner the rest of the world gets it the smoother life will be.

Dear Month 2 Momma, 
You are doing awesome, no matter what others say. Your kid is advanced and the extra time you spend sleep training him and on tummy time will pay off. Keep it up, you got this.

Dear Month 3 Momma, 
Hug that baby all day if you want, he is about to stop wanting to cuddle with you.
Oh and don’t put that IUD in, it will make you fat. And crazy. It’s not worth it.  It will rob you of your happiness.

Dear Month 4 Momma, 
Don’t think twice about starting food, the growth charts will thank you.

Dear Month 5 Momma,
Stop cleaning so much,  a little dust on the floor and dog hair never hurt anyone and you are about to make yourself crazy. Enjoy those 3 naps a day, you about to loose one.

Dear Month 6 Momma, 
Enjoy those last few moments of sitting, he is about to be on the move and your life will change overnight.

Dear Month 7 Momma, 
Spending hours alphabetizing the DVDs is a waste of time. Soon the babe will take great delight in pulling them all down and spreading them around the room.

Dear Month 8 Momma, 
Listen to your gut, the toe is fine there is no need to go to the emergency room. It will just cost you $500 and an entire day for a band aid.

Dear Month 9 Momma, 
Again, listen to your gut that bad mood means ear infection and he needs medication to be nicer. Baby proofing is more for the your sanity and then the protection of the babe he will figure out how to by- pass it quickly. 

Dear Month 10 Momma, 
Repeat after me. “The earlier you put him to bed the longer he will sleep.”

Dear Month 11 Momma, 
You will actually feel like you having heart attack when you see and can’t stop the babe from taking his first big fall.  Just remember life was never this good, never this sweet and didn’t count as much as it does after the birth of the babe. Hold on to that, forget the rest. 

yours truly,
a wiser version of yourself.

Becoming Mom

A year ago today at 3:05pm a precious and handsome baby boy was welcomed into the world.
In that moment a baby took his first breathe of life. In that moment, I became Mom.

Before becoming Mom
I never knew that your heart really could live outside your body.
I never knew that watching your child hurt would actually be gut-wrenching.
I never knew true exhaustion and even through the midst of those moments a simple cry could inspire me to run to his side.
I never knew that a smell could make my heart smile and make me yearn to bottle it up so I could smell him this way forever.
I never knew the pride of watching your child roll over, sit-up, crawl and walk for the first time.
I never knew how entertaining a child could be or how I would lasso the moon to make his life better.
I never that I would love something so much that it literally burst from my soul.
This last year I learned something new every day and, today, I can look at him and with pride know that I am his Mother, I am Mom.

The love I felt for him that day has grown as he has taught me true selfless love. I fall more in love with him and his Daddy every day because together they have taught me that I am Mom.  I may have given him life but he daily gives life back to me.

Happy First Birthday my angel, my love. Your Mommy & Daddy could not love you more.

Where McFatty begin.

(sorry should have worn a tighter dress but you get it right, much flater!)  
June 28, 2009– Craig and I spent our last day as non-parents eating. No seriously, we did. We went out to lunch at one our favorite local spots and then lounged around in the pool until 6pm when we made our way to the hospital. After we got settled, the nurse told us that I was too dilated to do anything until the morning so I could have nice big dinner (no food once labor started) and they would give me a sleeping pill which was glorious. So off my fab hubby went to get us a pasta dinner take out. Our nurse’s recommendation so that I would not be starving in the morning. I ate Alfredo sauce and indulged in every last second of my final seriously guilt-free fatty meal. 
June 28, 2010- We are a day away from baby boy’s first birthday and I am over the baby weight. Still fighting to get off those last few pounds but I must admit I feel like a different women. My former energy levels have returned and I don’t avoid mirrors anymore. I have even looked at my reflection a few times and been pleased. I am getting there, give me a few more months and I vow to be BAACK. I even bought some new shades this weekend that were totally different from my standard look of the last 8 years and guess what? My hubby told me that I looked like a hot college girl in them… damn that felt good, real good.
What have you done that made you feel like your old self? What have you done that makes you feel baack?!?

The day I saved a wedding.

Everyone grab your party hats and get excited because it is birthday week. Baby Boy has his very first birthday on Tuesday and in honor of this very memorious day, I am kicking off the Party Planner.  I am going to make you laugh with tales from the old days, teach some great tricks and together we can host the best parties in town.

Prior to Mommahood I worked insane hours, ran around in heels for hours on end and in my opinion I was paid to put our fires. I loved it, I miss it some days…my job today is so much better. Lets set the stage a little…

Its a beautiful Saturday in May and it was one of my client’s Big Day. We had planned an outdoor ceremony and cocktail hour with an indoor reception in a Barn. Our main concern leading up to her day was the weather and besides a little humidity, it was a perfect day.

The guest were arriving, the drinks were flowing and everything was set. This couple met at a poker party over a joke about Star Wars and had used this piece of their past to theme their wedding into a Poker Star Wars Party. The wedding cake was a focal point, it was supposed to be more cute than wedding and in my personal opinion looked liked tiered version of the Mad Hatter’s hat. Oh did I mention it was fire engine red and black with stripes and polka dots. I am standing in the kitchen plating appetizers and giving my staff a run down of how food, drinks and dancing will go and all the sudden my assistant is standing in the room looking like someone had dropped dead.

Assistant: “We have a problem, a big one. First, I promise no one was near it. It just happened. “
Me: “Okay, spill it” (I didn’t have time for novels the wedding was due to start in 25 mins)
Assistant: “The cake fell on the floor”

I stared and then ran from the kitchen to cake. I may have flew, I was fast. The cake had crumbled to a mess of fondant and the top layer was smashed into the toile backdrop, that layer had died and the rest was in intensive care.

I literally just started picking up the pieces and trying to figure out how fix this mess of a cake. I am barking orders.
“Do not let the bride come down here, do not!
I need cocktail swords. I need poker chips and I need a second pair of hands.

So in 20 mins, I managed to get the dead layer out of sight, the table cleaned up, the cake back together by using about 100 cocktail swords to hold the pieces together and covered the holes and dead places with poker chips. The groom watched the whole thing go down in shock and I think total fear that his bride would go batshitcrazy if she knew this had happened.

The bride walked right passed the cake as she headed to the aisle, the bride and groom cut the first slice (me and the groom winked) and I whisked the mangled cake into the back to cut it and remove all the swords. I wasn’t in the mood to call 911 for eating injuries.

She had no idea anything had happened until the next day when her hubby told her and then on her way to the airport she called me, cried and thanked me. I said it was my job and then vowed to never ever let another bride pick such a crazy looking cake.


I missed a day this week. I completely missed Thursday which means I missed the garbage man among other things. So not only am I totally confused that it is Friday, we have a smelly trash can that will no doubt be over-flowing by next week’s collection.  At least we switched to cloth diapers, 2 weeks of dirty diapers will make you gag, promise.

I guess that is what happens when you beat the heat by staying in the house for 2 days in a row and spend hours editing the most amazing birthday video ever. I can not believe my angel is a few short days from being a year.

Today, I pack up the bottles… we have been over them for a few weeks but its official he will.not.use them anymore. He’s very busy growing up and I all I want him to do is slow down but then I realize that I am just proud of him. We are a few days shy of a year and he’s already mastered walking, has a vocabulary of 5 words and is just growing into the most amazing young man. I could be more proud of him and am so thankful that God choose me to be his Momma.  Look at those baby blues…

His grandma bought him a birthday crown and he loves it. I have a feeling we will be wearing it for a few weeks. Have you ever lost day? It totally confuses you doesn’t it??

Anyone want to tell me what program these use to put watermarks on their pics? I can’t seem to figure how to do it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

The Momma Chef

First, a confession I have been neglecting my food blog ::slaps hand wrist:: But,  I am getting into a Summer routine and watch out, I have quite a few recipes to share with you. 

Us Southerns are sweltering in the heat and humidity… at 7:30 this morning is was already 78 degrees. Don’t get me wrong… I am not complaining, I have a sick love for the heat and really all things Summer. This family likes to BBQ in the summer and I love a good salsa starter.

I must admit this is recipe is not mine, I did tweak it a touch but the bulk of it is thanks to The Pioneer Women. I need to gush for a moment, she is amazing. I kinda want to be her. Enough of that… onto Salsa.

Ok… on to the good stuff. Grab your food processor (for this recipe bigger is better), a big bowl, a wooden spoon, and these items.

::Do a little dance:: That’s right canned tomatoes::
Here’s your listed of needs.
1 28 oz can of Whole Peeled Tomatoes
1 can of Original Rotel
1 can of Mild Rotel
1 clove of minced garlic
1/4 of onion
1 seeded  Jalapeno pepper
1/2 cup of chopped fresh cilantro
1/8 cup of sugar
1/4 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 whole lime juice
Next do this… aka dump everything in the bowl together.
My food processor makes a big ol’ mess if I do it all at once so I process it in 2 batches. Make sure to not over pulse it or it will be too runny. After a few pulses mix the batches back together. Make sure to stir it a few times to evenly distribute all the spices.  And this last part is very important, do you hear me… I know you want to dig right in and all but don’t! It will taste even better in a few hours.
Now doesn’t that look divine?!?!

Let’s go hoppin’

Hormonal Imbalances

Well it’s Tuesday which means it time to blog hop! If this is your first time here, I am so glad you stopped by. Today, our hot word is HANDCUFFS.
::Cough, clears throat::
Now get your head out of the gutter… I know what you were thinking. When I first met my husband he was living alone but a month after we met he decided to move in with a friend. The hubs and I were a hot item from the moment we met and by the time it was time for him to move we were inseparable. I, being the super, awesome girlfriend I was, realized that this move was not going to happen if I didn’t help. So I dawned my super girlfriend cape, helped him gather boxes and started to organize the packing of his place. He was bachelor in his mid-20’s with a dog… I will let you envision the state of his place. It was a mess, it was cluttered, there was trash and there was important stuff. As I am going through the bedside table packing it up, I open a draw and remove handcuffs. My face curls into a frown as I walk to the living room to demand an explanation of their presence. I was ready to yell, why I do not know. I am female, I have a jealous streak.
The hubs then proceeds to tell me that he was member of the Loss Prevention Team at Bloomingdale’s while in school. My jaw drops as I managed to giggle out, “You were a Mall Cop?”
“Yes, but we prefer to call it Loss Prevention.”
And that my friends is when I realized that I just fallen in love with a former Mall Cop.
But he is an awfully cute one.

Hormonal Imbalances
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A letter to those last few pounds

Dear Lagging Baby Weight,
It has come to my attention that you would really like stay with me. I really can’t blame you. I am a good time and when I try… we can be pretty cute. However, the dimpling, jiggling skin around my mid-drift is really starting to get on my nerves.

You see it is summertime and I would like to put on my summer wear and feel good in it. I know with you, we can fit into most clothes. But, fitting isn’t really my goal. I want to look good in them. I need to look good. So if you could do me a favor and stop hanging on for dear life I would appreciate it.

I promise you will get a chance to come back for awhile but for now I really need you to go away. Please let go.


Wedding Blog Hop

This wedding planner has spent hours checking out everyone else’s Big Day so I decided to join the fun.

We were pregnant, we planned our Big Day in six weeks and all I cared about was that I got married on the beach. It was just family, it was beautiful and I am pretty proud of myself. I did it all. I made the welcome baskets, I did the flowers, and I incorporated my hubby’s love of fishing into it.  I even managed to keep my bump on hidden. ::we are southern::

I haven’t gotten around to ordering the pics so check out our slide show, its awesome.